Red Punch Blog Blog

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New Old Friends

  I need more old friends. Not just kinda old, older than me, age. I have some of those (and you guys are great). No, I mean super old, like my friend Lois, who...

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Why not?

  Well, shit. I haven’t been able to write ANYTHING for this blog in a few months. Not because I don’t want to. Not because my life is any less hilarious and fucked up...

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Documentaries, Kegels, and Chill

Documentaries have ruined my life. Ok, so maybe that’s a little dramatic. But they do affect me, and consequently my ability to sleep, eat, read fiction, basically anything that involves freewill. Or breathing. It’s...

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I need a baby. Or vodka. Or both.

  Somebody needs to loan me a baby, or a toddler, STAT. Not for long. Maybe a week, or two. Preferably under the age of 4. Not potty-trained. Not sleeping through the night. Super...

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Marriage Advice

  What makes someone want to be married for 26 years? And happily married? Not stupid, fake, oblivious happy. Actual real marriage that, even though it’s ugly sometimes, you’re still glad that you decided...

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The Naked Circle

  How big is your naked circle? I seem to have had a lot of conversations about the subject of nudity lately, and I thought it was interesting that the range of comfort with...

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Nursing Hate

  These kids of mine show up exactly when I need ’em. Yes, sometimes I want to trade them to Gail at Loveland Liquor for a case of Grey Goose, but most of the...

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Romance Redesigned

Romance never appealed to me. Until I realized what romance really is. I have never craved the dimly lit setting of soft music, candles, and bubble baths (unless I’m alone). The traditional romantic settings...

1

The Takeover

What you’re reading is a blog takeover. Thank goodness for saved info on laptops, I am now pedaling this copper hot-air balloon. Social conventions are interesting. Ideals are even interesting-er. I consider myself insanely...