New Old Friends

Mitzi, the hair salon’s 3-legged beauty


I need more old friends.

Not just kinda old, older than me, age. I have some of those (and you guys are great).

No, I mean super old, like my friend Lois, who is 97 years old.

I met Lois at my hair salon about a year ago. She seemed to be in there every time I was, and I quickly found out that she goes every Friday at the same time to get her hair washed and set.

Almost immediately I knew I liked Lois. Definitely not shy, she waltzed into the salon with her dog in an adorably obnoxious pink dress, patted me on the shoulder, and asked what my name was. I learned a lot about her that first day, most memorably that she is proud of her age and loves meeting new people. How could you not instantly love this beautiful soul, all 5 feet of her? Here she was, living independently, driving herself around town (though I’m not sure she should be doing that), all while toting around her little black 3-legged rescue dog, Mitzi. Could it get any cuter?

Yep, it sure can. I started running into Lois at the liquor store. Also on Fridays.

Turns out Lois buys 2 or 3 bottles of wine every Friday, then “sips” on it throughout the week.

The first time that I ran into her, I was hesitant to say hello. I mean, she is 97, and I thought maybe outside of the context of our shared hair salon, she wouldn’t recognize me. Wrong.

“Well, are you just going to ignore me? Come give me a kiss.” -Lois is very affectionate.

“Of course I’m going to say hello!” -Me, going in for the side-cheek kiss, which always gets redirected into a full-lip kiss.

“I need to see what you’re buying. Oh, vodka! That will be nice. You deserve it. I’m celebrating my daughter’s birthday with this nice bottle of white wine.”

“That’s great, Lois! Is your daughter coming to see you this weekend?”

“No. But I can always find a reason to celebrate.”

True dat.

Lois doesn’t mess around. She decided from day one that I was her friend, so that’s how it was. She decides to find a reason to “sip” wine whenever the fuck she wants. And Lois is astonished by how young I look (the perspective is not lost on me here). All solid qualities in a friendship.

Super old friends may just be my new favorite thing. But, just like the younger ones, you gotta find the right ones. I LOVE my grandma (88) but I wouldn’t necessarily choose to hang out with her if she wasn’t my grandma, due to the undercurrent of racism and constant bowel discussions. No, just like any other age, I’m looking for the open-minded, outgoing, doesn’t-give-a-fuck mentality. And I’m realizing that the older my friends get, the more “fuck it” lives they lead, and I love it. So, why not just jump to the awesome people in their 90’s and really have a good time? Who wouldn’t want more people in their life that have an abundance of time and wisdom on their hands, and want to do nothing else but make sure TODAY is awesome AF??

So, maybe I’ll start trolling nursing homes, or Florida, for my new friends. Friends that tell me I deserve that vodka and we all deserve a reason to celebrate and rescue 3-legged dogs. Ok, maybe I already have friends like that, but they’re not telling me how young I look along with stories about riding in crank-engine cars and meeting dead presidents.

If you have a grandparent, or great-grandparent, that is gangster like Lois, hit me up. I’m free next weekend.

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1 Response

  1. Lois in the making aka Tory!!! says:

    I absolutely HEART HEART HEART HEART this!!

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