The (made-up, probably fake) Planning & Organizing Gene

enjoying the fruits of my planning gene

Is the ability to plan and organize your life a dominant or recessive gene?

Are there varying degrees of this (probably non-existent) gene?

And can we manipulate this (imaginary) gene to make it fit our needs??

The past month I have seen and fought with and wanted to strangle and laughed at and pushed and ignored people with a wide range of this gene, this (in)ability to manage and plan and organize their life.

Some people have the perfect amount, and I admire them. Those that research every aspect of a vacation destination so they don’t miss any fun shit. Those that don’t miss important deadlines or birthday parties. They rarely back out of plans due to overbooking themselves. They are the ones that bring enough food and booze on a camping trip to share AND have the first-aid kit and Excedrin for their clumsy, hungover friends. But, even though they can plan and organize these various parts, they don’t flip the fuck out if plans change. They can roll with it, make the best out of any situation, have back-up plans and snacks to go with it. I would put my mom and my friend Ang in this category. Big props to you ladies.

Other people take the planning to a fucking extreme. Not only do they research their vacation spots, but they create itineraries, email them out weeks in advance, and might kill you in your sleep if you cause any disruption to the schedule. They have college prep started for their preschooler. They have 3 months of meal planning and activities shared on the family calendar app, including secret color coding for different sexual activities (true story). They can’t just “wait and see what happens”. Ever, even for a spontaneous cunnilingus session (pink, of course). They’re also most likely to have a Xanax prescription and some type of weird fetish. I won’t call you out, but you know who you are….

Then, on the other extreme, are those that are completely missing the gene. Born without the ability to buy a fucking calendar, they thrive on disorder and see no reason to plan their next move, or any moves. They only manage to go on vacation because friend/spouse/family organizes the trip and all the arrangements. They wait til the last minute to renew tags, buy birthday gifts, finish a project, simply because they didn’t have the foresight to know dates were approaching. There is a lot of cancelling or rearranging of plans because they don’t realize one cannot be at a concert, family reunion, and work trip all at the same time. Even though these people are probably spontaneous and great for a last-minute “Hey, I have an extra ticket to…” I don’t recommend them as roommates.

As with everything in life, I guess the key to all of this is to have BALANCE. Which I can struggle with. Sometimes it takes great skill and lots of planning for me to organize a family of 4’s life, with multiple schedules and lots of obligations. So, I freak out when plans are derailed because someone “forgot” to mention a work or school obligation. In these situations, I wish I could have a less dominant planning gene, and just say”fuck it”. Then there are times that I get too focused on shit during the week that I don’t realize some holiday weekend is coming up and I could have made awesome plans and now it’s too late.

So I have some work to do. I have a lot of the summer planned for the kids and myself, including getaways, volunteering, sports physicals and a long overdue gynecologist appointment. But I don’t have any birthdays planned yet, and this house celebrates one in July, August, and September.

Maybe I just need to spend more time with my sister, the queen of all planners (love you) and my husband, who is, well..the opposite. Maybe I’ll be able to fall somewhere in the middle of their beautiful, annoying tendencies, and be more like my girl Angie and my mom. Spontaneous, yet prepared.

But I refuse to schedule and color-code my sex life.

Unless everyday is pink.



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4 Responses

  1. Kathy Yarman says:

    I want every day to be pink!!

  2. Nikki says:

    Haha I’m trying to be more like you!

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