Red Punch Blog Blog


Drugs Are Funny. Serious.

I’ve been thinking about how to share this scenario. I think the whole thing is fucking hilarious, but when I told the story to a few people, their reactions were just as hilarious as...


Killing Me Softly

  One of my loin fruits came to show me these sketches. I’m so proud, even though I’m pretty sure this is my heart and my dripping blood. So proud.



  Somebody, who will remain nameless (and possibly ball-less, depending) told me this morning that my sweater was ugly. Just flat-out. Unsolicited. And AFTER I had told this monster that I was having a...


Yoga Made Me Drink

Last night, I made some healthy, wholesome decisions that unintentionally led me to the Copper Cup. First off, the majesty of the Copper Cup holds a Moscow Mule (or, as my dad calls it,...


Short & Curly

While in the shower this morning, shaving my lady bits, I had a thought….. Why am I doing this?? At this stage of the game, I continue to shave because it would itch like...


Sexy-Ass Eyeballs

As I just passed my 38th birthday, it seems that the universe wants to make sure that I understand just how old I am. Even though I’m seriously trying to learn how to live...


Lizard murderer

My house is usually the place to go for the wayward and homeless. Okay, so that’s dramatic. But we do get a lot of pet-sitting “opportunities”. This past holiday season was no different. I...


2016 Fuck-O-Lutions

New Years Fuck-O-Lutions Yes, I’m glad 2015 is over. Sooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking glad. But no, I don’t think 2016 will bring life-changing epiphanies that will solve world hunger or cure my chips and salsa addiction....


Don’t Blow Your Therapist

I never thought I’d be in fucking therapy, let alone admit to the world that I’m going to fucking therapy. But, here I am. After several missteps through counselors who sucked, doctors who didn’t...